Making the connection.

It’s been running through my head for weeks now. What Michael Beckwith said was “It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve gotten it wrong…because the moment you get it right, it instantly connects you.”.
And it can be so true, I am noticing.
This one sentence has healed me in my parenting a lot.
How often do us parents dwell on all that we’ve done wrong? What fears do we harbour over the damage we are doing to our children because of all the mistakes we have made?
This one quote, It’s opened me up to what is next and allowed me to leave behind what has happened.
There has been a lot of things that I have resisted even though it continued to feel bad. I use to sneak off into the bathroom, locking the door for a moment to shower or poo in peace. What ended up happening was me rushing, clenched butt and vigorous shampooing through the frantic loud bangs and yelling at the door. I’d bounce up and down declaring my desire for peace.
One day I decided to let it go and stop trying to harbour my own sacred shower. Instead of sneaking, I informed them all that I was going for a shower and then I did the unthinkable…I left the door open. I kept my mind open to visitors, even if that included little naked people suddenly appearing at my butt coming in to enjoy MY warm water. What happened next was unheard of in the world of mothering…
I finally got my sacred shower.
I didn’t feel bothered even when someone came in to ask me if
It was a good idea to melt crayons in my fancy overpriced pot. It was peaceful even as I yelled “Nooooo!”.
This is only one example of how I’ve gotten it right and been instantly connected to what I was longing for.
When Aayla was born, I had been enjoying sleeping in the spare room, just her and I while Michael and the other three kids slept in the big room. I enjoyed this space and time to connect with my baby alone, so when Nova asked if she could sleep with us, my first horrible mother thought was “NO. How could you intrude on our sacred time?!?”
But what could go wrong with bringing in more babies to love? I brought her into our space and sometimes it’s one of the boys that needs it and so I just say yes.It feels
So good to just embrace it and not fight to try and set up these peaceful situations for me. Instantly connected. It didn’t change anything, having the older child in there except that now I had a barrier to keep Aayla from falling to her death out of bed. It also deepened the connection between us and it was surprisingly easy to just embrace it.
What are you resisting that you could give in to? Tell me about it? Was it easy? What did it change?

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