When parenting gets tough; when life with child is unbelievably hard.

Your children have become ill, maybe an incredibly sticky wet mess has been made or possibly the incessant screaming over seemingly nothing will surely cause your head to explode. Now is your time to shine. Now is the time in which life is built. Maybe your so absolutely exhausted that you can barely work your muscles enough to pick up your new baby or your children are acting violently towards one another and no amount of talking, separating them or punishing ever pulls them out of it. This is your moment to shine. It’s your opportunity to embrace your loved ones when they need it most and express what matters most.
We’ve been told that we need to react and control the situation. It’s not true. Or at least, it doesn’t have to be true. You can wrap yourself in their little arms and kiss their wet cheeks even when they’ve “misbehaved”. It’s ok to indulge in their love and it’s bottomless. And I think you’ll Find that your own capacity to love is endless too. They really just want to be with us and be loved and accepted. But don’t we all?
Being a mom of five has offered me many of these challenging opportunities. Sometimes many of them all at once while on a car trip far from home, looking for a gas station after our bumper was destroyed by a fender bender. And those words came to me:
This is my moment to shine.
Deep breaths. Warm eye contact and gentle, meaningful embraces gets us through. I’m done with the frustration and the desperation. I’m not doing that anymore. I’m choosing understanding, kindness and love. Living this way was harder to find and at times I could not fathom it. I’m so grateful for these opportunities and life is so much better. It’s heaven to sink deep into my exhaustion not trying to will it away with coffee, worry or regret. I allow my body to feel heavy and the children to be on top of it with my heavy eyes and an open heart. For I know this moment comes but only once. And I want to enjoy it all.
What is your moment to shine?

20140102-225717.jpg
Sleepy baby.

20140102-225743.jpg
Expressive child.

20140102-225832.jpg
Sisters.

20140102-225910.jpg
Nurturing new presence.

20140102-225951.jpg
Me, being curious.

20140102-233954.jpg

2 responses »

  1. So very true! Things go so much better when connection is the main focus. I always try to find out what my children need underneath the “misbehaving”. There is usually a solution if I only listen to them and acknowledge them….so many kids say, “you never listen!”, or “you don’t understand!” I try to do both.
    You have 5 kids! wow! I would love to have more (i have 3) but I worry about finances and paying for dental……plus my husband says he doesn’t want anymore. I long for another one though…..How do you manage it?

    • I manage 5 the same as I managed 1 and also a life with none! With my own unique perspective which is constantly evolving. 5 is as hard as 1 when my outlook is negative. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s