Stress leads me to Simplify everything…

Lately, I’ve been feeling the pressure of meals and messes that come with raising a family. I breathe in the stress of a home in a constant state of chaos; papers, pens, toys and everything else everywhere. I gather energy and go full force with two garbage bags in hand. But it always goes back to the same state in which I can not operate and do
what I love. It is mounts and is too much. I am pretty sure that I am not alone in this and that is why I have chosen to write about this today.
When I become stressed, the first thing I need to do is simplify.
That could mean, getting rid if all the garbage. Or picking up one thing, like a 100 piece puzzle scattered about. I focus on one thing at a time.
I have been telling myself for a long time that I just lack the skills to keep an organized home, and I’ve blamed my upbringing and my lack. blame. It hurts when I blame and it is not very effective but I don’t care about that anymore (blame). I’m trying something else. Trying new things is fun.
Sometimes I am able to embrace the absolute complete disaster but most of the time I know “This is not for me.”
Knowing that the stressful thoughts are not real, I ask myself:
What would help me live in the most joy and harmony with my kids?
What can I do to simplify?

I’ve been working hard on letting go and simplifying my mind and thoughts. My surroundings signify past times of too much.
I’ve come to the conclusion that I can’t keep doing the same thing over and over, expecting new results. This
Is the definition of insanity and I’ve been crazy a lot.
I go through periods of great clarity and I become kinder and more generous with myself. But it’s like two steps forward and one step back. Stepping back is what makes me push forward again. The sadness, the disconnection. It’s like an “aha” moment all over again reminding me to be gentle and understanding. Because when we aren’t, the pain is unbearable and it fogs the mind. It splits me wide open again. And it’s good.
The first thing I am going to do is pass off some of our most treasured possessions. Our beautiful books would serve someone else better than the inside of a cardboard box. Besides, the stories and the emotions they incite will always be with me. That’s all I think
I need right now.
Second, I am simplifying meals. Piles of dishes, even to a freak like me who like doing dishes, is too much. And I’m starting to not enjoy it. I have actually experienced resentment over it.
That’s not for me.
My plan (for now) is to keep a huge pot of broth on the stove. It’s easy to make up a soup by scooping out a cup or two of broth and adding egg, miso, hot sauce, veggies, meat, nuts, whatever. I’m calling it “Build your own soup.” and not what I originally wanted to call it which was “Build your own damn soup!”. I’ve grown a bit and I haven’t even started yet.
I am learning that my emotions serve as powerful Indicators as to where I can improve and change myself. Myself. Myself. That’s all I can do. Well, I can yell, demand, rant and dwell in dissatisfaction but…
that’s not for me.
I feel like if we had less and I cooked less, it would free me to other things.
And I will not say free up my time, because I am currently in the process of being the creator of my time. I always have enough time, it’s true. I just need a change, growth. And it’s good. I’m worn, and that’s good too.
I feel I could appreciate things more if I had less.

Here is the pile of stuff I picked out yesterday, to giveaway.

20130219-111154.jpg
Yea, this is for me.

3 responses »

  1. I also feel so free when I get rid of excess. My kids are going to grow up with vague memories of strangers knocking on the door and me handing over bags of their toys/books/furniture! Of course, I am selective and I know what items have not been looked at, let alone played with, for months šŸ˜‰

  2. Well done! We are slowly going through the whole house, room by room, area by area and donating, throwing out, storing where it should be stored.

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