Getting to know my daughter, learning to love her.

I have a daughter born into a family of three sons. She is completely different than them and if I do not focus on my own mindfulness and personal growth than things between her and I are not good. A clashing of egos occurs with yelling, crying and many hurt feelings. But I’m starting to really understand her and how I need to treat her, and it’s simple.
She gets into these moods when nothing pleases her. She is loud and aggressive. I happens when she is tired or hungry. It’s very difficult to encourage her to eat or sleep. My pleas are fueled by my knowledge that if she just eats or sleeps than all will be well. She will return to the pleasant and happy girl once her needs are all met. It doesn’t work for Nova that I ask or offer food or sleep. She needs to come to it in her own way. And so when she is not well, I stay with her in my slow and silent way. I know that it is part of the coming together. I say as little as possible while knowing that she has all that she needs to work this out. And she always does.
I also consider prevention on a day to day, hour to hour basis as well. Like
Creating the environment that provides opportunities to sleep/rest and eat foods she likes. I wasn’t thinking this morning when I took her to the grocery store before breakfast. Being hungry in a store full of all the stuff that won’t nourish us but will satisfy temporarily, it drives me batty as well. I waited at the grocery store, silent among the indecisive screaming. She didn’t know what she wanted but we figured it out eventually.
They’re born to us and we love them instantly. Then they have personalities and desires that challenge our love. It’s easy to adore the compliant and easy going child. But there’s something magical about learning to love the defiance in your baby appreciating the opposition is life changing. She’s taught me more than anyone I’ve ever known, including Ghandi and Mother Theresa.

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2 responses »

    • Oh, Amy. Thank you for your honesty. It is one of the hardest things in the world but it makes those moments of bonding and connecting so precious. I love when i see him. As he is. hugs.

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