If these are the “terrible twos” then I must be super wicked. I LOVE it. My two year old is brilliant and hilarious.
Unfortunately I wasn’t educated enough with my first born to accept and enjoy his toddlerhood. I wanted to get him under control and it really shows in his self image and in our
connection. He is eleven now and we have had to start over. It’s harder for
us to bond and cooperate, and I am know it is because I did not practice attachment parenting with him.
Ah, two year olds… I am in love with how in the moment they are. Terrific two, Emmett has a squeal which tells me “Hey! I am Here! And there you are! And here’s a rock! Wheee! A STICK HELL YA!”
He is joyful simply over our existence.
I feel like I really understand him. He just wants to be loved, attached and involved. For now he feels healthiest when with mom and dad and that is awesome for us. He’s cautious of strangers, no need for the stranger talk here!
Sometimes he yells for something and so I ask him “Do you need your turn with that?” and immediately his stress is eased and he says “um”, meaning yes. He will then be patient and generous even though we never force him to share. We also have not found the need to attempt to teach taking turns or sharing. It comes in it’s own time when we are generous and sharing with them.
I have found that it is ok to let my terrific two year old stand on the table, use fishing rods with hooks, play with power drills, use knives and go barefoot and naked. I think we may have been given the impression that if we let them do it sometimes that they will want to do it all the time. I have found the opposite to be true. I’ve found that when I allow them to do what they want, then they are more reasonable with me when we can not do something. They also look to me for guidance and ask whether something is safe.
They feel that I have their best interest at heart, I am not out to just stop them from doing stuff constantly and so
they feel no need to attain their power back. With my support they can do almost anything! Most stuff we prevent them from doing is harmless anyways. They are also less likely to bolt out into traffic or
run away from me when I am not hindering them. They want to be free while still close to me and safe. Chasing children makes them frantic, I have noticed children perfectly
capable on a play structure until an adult comes to help them and then it seems to throw them off and they fall or trip. It is almost like they have an invisible bubble around them that when we get too close, it pops and they lose concentration. Has anyone else
experienced this? I find it especially
True for babies and toddlers, my darting hands can disrupt their energy. Or something.
Chasing is great as a game, and children understand the difference between fun and force. Sometimes
They even run away because they want to be chased. I tell them which way or place is safe to run for a game of good
old chase me.
Parenting on principle is not effective to raising happy children. Parenting on principle says that we should forbid or not allow something only on principle and not on what is actually reasonable and respectful. When ya put it that way, it doesn’t really make sense, to
stop someone’s actions simply because of if’s and maybe’s and life lessons we hope to impart on them.
Enjoy your toddler. It’s ok to laugh when they spill something. You can hug them when they break something
or hurt someone. They are just trying
to meet their needs like everyone else.
With kindness and acceptance they will not find it necessary to continue
hurtful ways. They are not bad or needing to be tamed. They are brilliant and completely enlightened to the here and now.
It is even possible to convey my message to children without
words. That’s how powerful love and connection is.