On Breastfeeding, Abortion and Circumcision.

To be honest, I have been considering ways to make my blog more popular.

It would be so easy to publish something controversial about how evil formula is, how co-sleeping is the only way to produce confident children or how a pack of cigarettes a day is good for you. I would receive a lot of “likes” and a lot of nasty comments at the same time. It would all be for publicity and in my favour.

But then I got to thinking, which I sometimes do…

I thought about the debates on breastfeeding, abortion, co-sleeping and circumcision and I realized that they are merely symptoms of a bigger issue.

We post pictures and articles that will clearly state which way is the right way and which way is wrong. They are so in your face and I think that they only speak to the people who already agree. Do we actually believe that we can change someones behavior by posting such concrete (and often harsh) information?

I think that it is happening that we take small ideas, other people’s quotes and parts of articles and then form an opinion based on very little information and on virtually no experience.

I do have my ideas about what is best, but I don’t know if my ideas are the end-all answers. There is something deeper. I still act out of a compulsive need to be made whole and that can potentially invalidate a lot of my actions and opinions. I am still working on being in the moment and not worrying about the superficial. I have made it my number one priority and so it gets better and easier as time goes on. I become less attached to ideas and things, and I am believing that I am whole regardless of circumstance.

If we could identify and address the deep issue then we would not have to argue over our rights to breastfeed or look for ways to diminish our guilt over formula feeding. We could live in peace and love, clear headed to make the “right” decisions.

What is the deeper issue? What causes us to argue and google the information to back up our actions?

A loss of connection.

If I feel connected to someone, I am unable to condemn their choices. I love them and their journey.

We all want the same things; happiness, love and security. And we want these things for our children.I see their struggles to be good and it is beautiful even when they fail.

Could our time be better spent looking for ways to connect rather than picketing our opinions?

So many of the blog posts that I see going around, they only further the divides between us.

I know I am taking a chance by not posting my stance on anything. I know it is not what makes people popular. But it doesn’t matter. What matters is that we start hearing each other and that we start enjoying each others company. That will do for now, the rest will come.

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15 responses »

  1. “We all want the same things; happiness, love and security. And we want these things for our children.” This is an excellent point to keep in mind before we are quick to judge another parent for his or her choices. Few parents are trying to damage or endanger their children but many may regret a decision they made in the best interest of their child/family. The polemics engendered in the discussion of the issues you mentioned are indeed extreme and often vitriolic. Parents who find themselves on the “wrong” side of these issues need not be made to feel worse through personal criticisms and careless accusations of child abuse. Everyone is entitled to an opinion but it is important to remember that when we post a meme, infographic, photo, link or blog post that merely confirms (and promotes) our belief in a certain issue or cause we are often also sending out an attack on those who have made different choices.

    • That is true! I started thinking about this after I posted that thing on circumcision. It’s so easy (and mindless) to hit “share”. BUT what is the point? Will it change anything
      For the good? I doubt it…

      • We’re all guilty of impulsive social networking. I wish more people would take the time to consider the statements they are making before clicking “like/share.” The circumcision meme is still on your page, though.

  2. Well I have a few thoughts on this 🙂
    1. Yes, I do think that showing graphic pics of stuff may change some peoples minds….think of people who have no idea what happens on the kill floor in a slauter house, there are a few people who will then choose not to contribute to that. There are many people in this world that would rather be unaware, so I for one don’t think that if it’s a topic dear to you that you are bad for sharing your thoughts.
    2. That being said, liking and sharing on facebook…I don’t understand what is wrong with that! If it’s something you like and want to connect your energy to, that is your own decision. Also, it’s not about changing anything it’s stating your beliefs (as long as your not sharing and liking things that actually state “if your against this you are evil”) and not making anyone else wrong for their beliefs. And, it’s facebook, your not getting it tatooed to your forehead.
    3. But, even if you do it’s your choice. I may not agree with it, I may not like it, but I will always accept that YOU do.
    4. We only divide if we want to.

    My bottom line on this is that it all depends on the intention behind your personal actions….which we will all always have to assume are for the positive, since no one will ever know your intentions on-line

  3. Looks like I need to “friend” you on Facebook to view the controversy myself. 🙂 I completely agree with the other commenter that it all depends on what our intentions are for any share or post or blog. If our intention is to create communication and offer information, then “the universe” will understand it is positive energy — though not all of your friends/followers may see that. Even if I disagree with a post, if I respect and have empathy for what they’re trying to do — create positive change — than I can agree or disagree with similar respect for their views. I think you’re still adding a good thing to the conversation if you do so without judgment or expectation. It’s just your point of view. People can take it however they take it, but you’re being honest and putting yourself out there.

    Parenting is such a touchy subject. And, I believe, there is no right or wrong for any family. It just is what it is. And sometimes family beds or breastfeeding or foregoing vaccinations or circumcisions or whatever aren’t possible (e.g., for parents who adopt older children, parents or children who have physical issues, etc.). But we all can add our two cents with love and those who can and want to hear it will. That’s kind of the beautiful thing about social media.

    As always, I really appreciate your willingness to be truthful and raw, Nadine.

    • I totally agree! I was merely
      Making a comment on the posting that are so rampant. I’d like to liken my relationships to attachment parenting… The relationships come first! I didn’t mean for this post to say “don’t post anything on your opinion”. It was merely an aim to help me be more mindful. 🙂

      • No worries; didn’t think that’s what you were saying. I got what you were throwing down. 🙂 I was just adding the thoughts your post and the other comments provoked. Good stuff!

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