On Perfection…

I can see their pain. I can compare it to my own…I have been blinded by the wants and the things that I thought I needed. I said to the them "fill me up, make me whole." I looked for the perfect thing, the perfect relationship, the perfect home so that I could feel good. And so that I could be good. I searched for ways to make me something. It exhausted me and it still comes in its slow way, creeping in…telling me "you are not good enough". But I am thinking a new thought as well…" I am always enough. I am perfect, whole and complete.". My actions will stray and my negative thoughts will still come, and it is ok. It is what it means to be human. To suffer, to make mistakes and to hurt. Out of the darkness I see the light and I just want to smile and laugh and tell them that it is all ok. I am hysterical until I cry!

We can relax and we can let go.

I accept you with your flaws and your huge televisions and bad eating habits. And I also accept myself with my excessive driving and the heaps of garbage that I bury into the earth. I am doing my best and so are you. And so are they. I do my best and my best gets better and your best is right for you. Never will I see that perfection that I always held everything up to when I analyzed and said that it wasn't good enough. That perfection is here but it looks different to me now.

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