We all want the how-to’s when it comes to parenting.
There are SO many books on parenting and they all promise to give you exact recipes for getting your child to act a certain way.
But I must consider, why are we so intent on controlling our children? And in such an extreme way?
If we want them to be flexible and cooperative then we must be flexible and cooperative.
I read an article yesterday (will post link when I remember which one) and it was talking about how we wouldn’t treat another adult that why, so why do we do it to our most vulnerable?
It got me thinking about other vulnerable members of society, the elderly.
We don’t put grandpa in a time-out when he eats ALL the cookies.
Nobody spanks grandma to make her learn that she can not go outside naked.
I think our poor treatment of children stems from fear.
Fear of what others think and fear of who our children will become.
I only have this small and effective piece of advice: BOND WITH THEM.
Bond with them after they’ve “disobeyed” you. Bond with them when they throw a fit. Bond with them when they play in the toilet. Bond with them when they physically hurt someone. Bond with them when they please you.
It has taken me a long time to learn how to bond and what it actually is. I am still working on it. Its important to forgive yourself when you fail.
Deep connection + adult + child =
a wonderful life.
So, that’s it. There’s my recipe.