We hold on to our beautiful, little babies and they grow rapidly into beautiful little children that will one day throw a fit. How does this happen? I am not so sure that we can discover all the why’s of human behavior, but I do think we can look for mindful ways of responding.
10 reasons to be happy when our children are not:
1. Our children are not timidly depressed or trained like an animal to behave a certain way even though it goes against what they are feeling. They are holding nothing back and keeping nothing in. I wish I still had those instincts.
2. A good cry will send them into a good sleep. This always works for me. Good sleep is important for good health.
3. Crying, screaming fits of rage indicate that our children have feelings and that they do not suffer from some sort of sociopathic personality disorder.
4. Extreme displays of emotion normally only happen when we feel comfortable. When my child is turning blue in the face, I just think..wow, they must feel really safe with me.
5. Our children are making energetic attempts to communicate their needs with us. Though their methods may be somewhat misguided and ineffective they WILL learn better ways of communicating.
6. I like to think of these times as an amazing opportunity to display control of ones own emotions. Although I am feeling angry myself with hints of guilt and self-doubt, I can still be in control.
7. This is also a great time to truly demonstrate to your child how much you care and love them unconditionally. Your calm and loving response to their “inappropriate behavior” will send lasting messages of love and acceptance.
8. Frustration in a child is a sign that they have, or are, separating from you and are becoming independent beings. This is healthy and a goal for all humans.
9. This is a great time for intimacy with our children, if we are willing to listen rather than talk and help rather than punish we can develop an even closer bond with them.
10. These times can highlight the good times. Without darkness, there is no light. So just smile (but only slightly) and nod and say I love you with your eyes. The rest will come to you.
Maybe this will teach our children not to be afraid when mommy throws a fit. Rather, maybe they will be supportive and understanding when mommy loses it. haha.